ALICE IN WONDERLAND - PLAYSCRIPT - ACT 11 - 2007-8

ALICE IN WONDERLAND

PLAYSCRIPT 2007-2008

ACT 11

Alice is lying on a tree asleep. Her sister is next to her and also Dinah. Alice is speaking in dreams.

ALICE: Alice, wake up! Please wake up, Alice! Alice! Please wake up, Alice! Alice! Alice! Alice!

SISTER: Alice! Alice! Will you kindly pay attention and recite your lesson?
Alice stands up and so does her sister.

ALICE: Huh? Oh. Oh! Uh... how doth the little crocodile, improve his shining tail. And pour the waters of the...

SISTER: Alice, what are you talking about?

ALICE: Oh, I’m sorry, but you see, the Caterpillar said...

SISTER: Caterpillar? Oh, for goodness sake. Alice, I... Oh, well. Come along, it’s time for tea.

ALICE: Tea? Oh no, not tea!

SISTER: What are you talking about? Come on!

Chorus:
Alice in Wonderland, over the hill or here or there, I wonder where.
Alice in Wonderland, how do you get to Wonderland?

Over the hill or under land, or just behind the tree?

Alice in Wonderland, where is the path to Wonderland?

Over the hill or here or there, I wonder where.

END OF PLAY

ALICE IN WONDERLAND - PLAYSCRIPT - ACT 10 - 2007-8

ALICE IN WONDERLAND

PLAYSCRIPT 2007-2008

ACT 10

Alice appears in a garden there is a big rose tree and three cards are painting its white roses red.

ALICE: Of all the silly nonsense, this is the stupidest tea party I’ve ever been to in all my life. Well, I’ve had enough nonsense. I’m going home. Straight home. That rabbit. Who cares where he’s going anyway. Why, if it hadn’t been for him I... (noticing the three Card painters) Oh!

CARD PAINTERS: Da dee dee da da da, Doodle de do, dee do dee do, bum bum bum bum, Painting the roses red, we’re painting the roses red, we cannot stop or waste a drop, so let the painting spread. We’re painting the roses red, we’re painting the roses red! Painting the roses red.

ALICE: Oh, pardon me, but mister Three, why must you paint them red?

CARD PAINTERS: Huh? Oh! Well, the fact is, miss: we planted the white roses by mistake. And, the queen she likes them red. If she saw what we said, she’d raise her voice and each of us would quickly lose his head.

ALICE: Goodness!

CARD PAINTERS: Since this is that what we dread, we’re painting the roses red!

ALICE: Oh dear! Then let me help you!

ALICE & CARD PAINTERS: We’re painting the roses red. Don’t tell the queen what you have seen, we’re painting the roses red...

ALICE: Yes, painting the roses red...

CARD PAINTERS: Not pink, not green...

ALICE: Not aqua-marine...

ALICE & CARD PAINTERS: We’re painting the roses red!

CARD PAINTERS: The Queen! The Queen! (And they throw themselves to the ground.)

ALICE: The Queen!

CARD PAINTERS: The Queen! ...

QUEEN: Cards, halt! Count off!

ALICE: The rabbit!

WHITE RABBIT: He...he... her imperial highness, he... her grace, her excellency, her royal majesty, the Queen of Hearts! And the King...

QUEEN: Hum... Who’s been painting my roses red? Who’s been painting my roses red? Who dares to taint, with vulgar paint, the royal flower bed? For painting my roses red, someone will lose his head!

THREE: Oh, no! Your majesty! Please, it’s all his fault!

TWO: Not me, your grace! The Ace, the Ace!

QUEEN: You?

ACE: No, Two!

TWO: Not me, the Three!

QUEEN: That’s enough! Off with their heads!

ALICE: Oh, please, please! They were only trying to...

QUEEN: And who is this?

KING: Uh... well, well, well, now, eh... let me see, my dear. It certainly isn’t a heart... do you suppose it’s a club?

QUEEN: Why, it’s a little girl.

ALICE: Yes, and- and I was hoping...

.

QUEEN: Look up, speak nicely, and don’t twiddle your fingers! Turn out your toes. Curtsey. Open your mouth a little wider, and always say ‘yes, your majesty’!

ALICE: Yes, your majesty!

QUEEN: Hmhmhmhm. Now, um, where do you come from, and where are you going?

ALICE: Well, um, I’m trying to find my way home...

QUEEN: Your way? All ways here are my ways!

ALICE: Well, yes, I know, but I was just thinking...

QUEEN: Curtsey while you’re thinking, it saves time.

ALICE: Yes, your majesty, but I was only going to ask...

QUEEN: I’ll ask the questions! Do you play croquet?

ALICE: Why, yes, your majesty.

QUEEN: Then let the game begin!

KING: In your places, in your places, By order of the king! Hurry, hurry, hurry!

QUEEN: Shuffle deck! Cards cut! Deal cards! Cards, halt! ... Silence! Pfwfwfwfw! ... Off with his head!

KING: Off with his head, off with his head! By order of the king. You heard what she said!

QUEEN: You’re next!

ALICE: Oh, but...

QUEEN: Hahaha... my dear.

The Queen starts playing and she turns. Suddenly the Cheshire cat appears.

CHESHIRE CAT: La la la da da dum... la la la hmm... I say, how are you getting on?

ALICE: Not at all.

CHESHIRE CAT: Beg your pardon?

ALICE: I said ‘not at all’! (Angrily)

QUEEN: Who are you talking to?

ALICE: Oh, uh... a cat, your majesty!

QUEEN: Cat? Where? (The cat is hiding behind the Queen).

ALICE: There! Oh... Oh there he is again!

QUEEN: I warn you child, if I loose my temper, you lose your head, understand?

The Queen turns down and the cat tries to hit her on her bum.

ALICE: No, no, no! Stop! Oh no!

The cat kicks her and the Queen falls over. The cat disappears quickly.

KING: Oh dear! Save the queen!

QUEEN: Someone’s head will roll for this! Yours! Off with her...

KING: But- but consider, my dear. Couldn’t she have a trial... uh... first?

QUEEN: Trial?

KING: Well, just a... uh... little trial? Hmm?

QUEEN: Hmm. Very well then. Let the trial begin!

WHITE RABBIT: Huh... your majesty... members of the jury... loyal subjects...

KING: A-hem...

WHITE RABBIT: ...and the king. The prisoner is charged with enticing her majesty, the Queen of Hearts, into a game of croquet, and thereby willfully...

ALICE: But...

WHITE RABBIT: ...and with malice, teasing, tormenting, and otherwise annoying arb...

QUEEN: Don’t mind all that! Get to the part where I lose my temper.

WHITE RABBIT: Bwbwbwl... thereby causing the queen to lose her temper.

QUEEN: Now, Ha ha... are you ready for your sentence?

ALICE: Sentence? Ah, but there must be a verdict first!

QUEEN: Sentence first! Verdict afterwards.

ALICE: But that just isn’t the way!

QUEEN: All ways are...

ALICE: Your ways, your majesty.

QUEEN: Yes, my child. Off with her...

ALICE: Oh, pooh. I’m not afraid of you! Why, you’re nothing but a pack of cards!

CARDS: Huh?

ALICE: And as for you, your majesty! Your majesty indeed! Why, you’re not a queen, but just a fat, pompous, bad tempered old ty- tyrant...

QUEEN: Hmhmhmhm... and uh... what were you saying, my dear? Off with her head!

KING: You heard what her majesty said! Off with her head! ...

Alice starts running and all of them run after her.

QUEEN: Off with her head! Off with her head!
.

END OF ACT 10

ALICE IN WONDERLAND - PLAYSCRIPT - ACT 9 - 2007-8

ALICE IN WONDERLAND

PLAYSCRIPT 2007-2008

ACT 9

Alice appears on the stage, there is a big table and on the table lots of cups and saucers, teapots and coffeepots. By the table, the March Hare and the Mad Hatter are singing a song.

.

MARCH HARE: ...to us. A very know what day today is tea forget of us??

MAD HATTER: A very merry unbirthday...

MARCH HARE: A very merry unbirthday...

MAD HATTER & MARCH HARE: A very merry unbirthday to us! ...

MARCH HARE: A very merry unbirthday to me.

MAD HATTER: To who?

MARCH HARE: To me.

MAD HATTER: Oh you!

MARCH HARE: A very merry unbirthday to you.

MAD HATTER: Who, me?

MARCH HARE: Yes, you.

MAD HATTER: Oh me!

MARCH HARE: Let's all congratulate us with another cup of tea, a very merry unbirthday to you!

Alice tries to get close to the table but they don´t let her.

MARCH HARE & MAD HATTER: No room, no room, no room, no room, no room, no room, no room!

ALICE: But I thought there was plenty of room!

MARCH HARE: Ah, but it’s very rude to sit down without being invited!

MAD HATTER: I say it’s rude. It’s very very rude, indeed! Hah!

MOUSE: Very very very rude, indeed...

ALICE: Oh, I’m very sorry, but I did enjoy your singing and I wondered if you could tell me...

MARCH HARE: You enjoyed our singing?

MAD HATTER: Oh, what a delightful child! Hah! I’m so excited, we never get compliments! You must have a cup of tea!

MARCH HARE: Ah, yes indeed! The tea, you must have a cup of tea!

ALICE: That would be very nice. I’m sorry I interrupted your birthdayparty... uh, thank you.

MARCH HARE: Birthday? Hahaha! My dear child, this is not a birthdayparty!

MAD HATTER: Of course not! Hehehe! This is an unbirthdayparty!

ALICE: Unbirthday? Why, I’m sorry, but I don’t quite understand.

MARCH HARE: It’s very simple. Now, thirty days have sept- no, when... an unbirthday, if you have a birthday then you... haha... she doesn’t know what an unbirthday is!

MAD HATTER: How silly! Ha HA Ha Ha! Ah-hum... I shall ellusinate! Now statistics prove, prove that you’ve one birthday.

MARCH HARE: Imagine, just one birthday every year.

MAD HATTER: Ahhh, but there are 364 unbirthdays!

MARCH HARE: Precisely why we’re gathered here to cheer!

ALICE: Why, then today is my unbirthday too!

MARCH HARE: It is?

MAD HATTER: What a small world this is.

MARCH HARE: In that case... a very merry unbirthday.

ALICE: To me?

MAD HATTER: To you!

MARCH HARE: A very merry unbirthday. (and he gives Alice a birthday cake)

ALICE: For me?

MAD HATTER: For you! Now blow the candle out, my dear and make your wish come true! He he he!

ALICE: Oh, that was lovely!

MAD HATTER: And uh, and now my dear, hehe, uh... you were saying ... hehe!

ALICE: Oh, yes. You see, I’m looking for a...

MAD HATTER: Clean cup, clean cup! Move down!

ALICE: But I haven’t used my cup!

MARCH HARE: Clean cup, clean cup, move down, move down!

MAD HATTER: Would you like a little more tea?

ALICE: Well, I haven’t had any yet, so I can’t very well take more...

MARCH HARE: Ahh, you mean you can’t very well take less!

MAD HATTER: Yes! You can always take more than nothing!

ALICE: But I only meant that...

MAD HATTER: And now, my dear, something seems to be troubling you. Uh, won’t you tell us all about it?

MARCH HARE: Start at the beginning.

MAD HATTER: Yes, yes! And when you come to the end, hehehe, stop! See?

ALICE: Well, it all started while I was sitting in the garden with Dinah.

MARCH HARE: Very interesting. Who’s Dinah?

ALICE: Why, Dinah is my cat. You see...

MOUSE: Cat?

MARCH HARE: Hurry! Give the jam! Quickly! On his nose! Put it on his nose!

MAD HATTER: On his nose, on his nose!

MOUSE: Where’s the cat...

MAD HATTER: Oh. Oh, my goodness! Those are the things that upset me!

MARCH HARE: See all the trouble you’ve started?

ALICE: But really, I didn’t think...

MARCH HARE: Ah, but that’s the point! If you don’t think, you shouldn’t talk!

MAD HATTER: Clean cup! Clean cup! Move down, move down, move down!

ALICE: But I still haven’t used....

MAD HATTER: Move down, move down, move down, move down... And now my dear, as you were saying?

ALICE: Oh, yes. I was sitting on the riverbank with uh... with you know who...

MAD HATTER: I do, hehehe?

ALICE: I mean my C - A - T...

MAD HATTER: Tea?

MARCH HARE: Just half a cup if you don’t mind.

MAD HATTER: Come, come my dear. hehehe! Don’t you care for tea?

ALICE: Why, yes, I’m very fond of tea, but...

MARCH HARE: If you don’t care for tea, you could at least make polite conversation!

ALICE: Well, I’ve been trying to ask you...

MARCH HARE: I have an excellent idea! Let’s change the subject! How about a nice cup of tea?

ALICE: A nice cup of tea, indeed! Well, I’m sorry, but I just haven’t the time!

MARCH HARE: The time, the time! Who’s got the time?

WHITE RABBIT: No, no, no, no! No time, no time, no time! Hello, goodbye! I’m late! I’m late!

ALICE: The white rabbit!

WHITE RABBIT: Oh, I’m so late! I’m so very very late!

MAD HATTER: Well, no wonder you’re late! Why, this clock is exactly two days slow!

WHITE RABBIT: Two days slow?

MAD HATTER: Of course you’re late. Hahaha! My goodness. We’ll have to look into this. A-ha! I see what’s wrong with it! Why, this watch is full of wheels!

WHITE RABBIT: Oh, my good watch! Oh, my wheels! My springs! But- but- but- but, but- but- but...

MAD HATTER: Butter! Of course, we need some butter! Butter!

MARCH HARE: Butter!

WHITE RABBIT: But- but- butter?

MAD HATTER: Butter, oh, thank you, butter. Ha ha. Yes, that’s fine.

WHITE RABBIT: Oh no no, no no no you’ll get crumbs in it!

MAD HATTER: Oh, this is the very best butter! What are you talking about?

MARCH HARE: Tea?

MAD HATTER: Tea! Oh, I never thought of tea! Of course!

WHITE RABBIT: No!

MAD HATTER: Tea! hehehe

WHITE RABBIT: No! Not tea!

MARCH HARE: Sugar?

MAD HATTER: Sugar. Two spoons, yes, ha, two spoons. Thank you, yes.

WHITE RABBIT: Oh, please! Be careful!

MARCH HARE: Look at that! It’s going mad!

ALICE: Oh, my goodness!

WHITE RABBIT: Oh dear!

MARCH HARE: It is going mad! Mad watch!

MAD HATTER: I don't understand, it's the best butter.

MARCH HARE: There’s only one way to stop a mad watch!

And he takes a hammer and hits the watch with it.

WHITE RABBIT: Oh, my watch...

MAD HATTER: It was?

WHITE RABBIT: And it was an unbirthday present too.

MARCH HARE: Well, in that case...

MARCH HARE & MAD HATTER: A very merry unbirthday to you!

And the white rabbit quickly disappears from the stage.

ALICE: Mister Rabbit! Oh, mister Rabbit! Oh, now where did he go to? And she goes after him leaving the March Hare and the Mad Hatter singing their unbirthday song.

.

END OF ACT 9

ALICE IN WONDERLAND - PLAYSCRIPT - ACT 8 - 2007-8

ALICE IN WONDERLAND

PLAYSCRIPT 2007-2008

ACT 8

Alice appears on the stage with the two pieces of mushroom in her two hands.

ALICE: Goodness... I wonder if I’ll ever get to see the white rabbit again. Hmmm... I better save these. (And she puts the two pieces of mushroom inside her pockets) Now let’s see, where was I? Hmmm, I wonder which way I ought to go...

CHESHIRE CAT: Uh... loose something?

ALICE: Oh! Hehe, Oh uhhh... hehe... I- I was... no, no, I- I- I- I mean, I uhh... I was just wondering...

CHESHIRE CAT: Oh uhh, that’s quite all right! Oh, hrmm, one moment please... Oh!

ALICE: Why, why you’re a cat!

CHESHIRE CAT: A Cheshire Cat.

ALICE: Oh, wait! Don’t go, please!

CHESHIRE CAT: Very well.

ALICE: Oh no no no... thank you, but- but I just wanted to ask you which way I ought to go.

CHESHIRE CAT: Well, that depends on where you want to get to.

ALICE: Oh, it really doesn’t matter, as long as I c...

CHESHIRE CAT: Then it really doesn’t matter which way you go! Ah-hmm.... Oh, by the way, if you’d really like to know, he went that way.

ALICE: Who did?

CHESHIRE CAT: The white rabbit.

ALICE: He did?

CHESHIRE CAT: He did what?

ALICE: Went that way!

CHESHIRE CAT: Who did?

ALICE: The white rabbit!

CHESHIRE CAT: What rabbit?

ALICE: But didn’t you just say... I mean... oh dear!

CHESHIRE CAT: However, if I were looking for a white rabbit, I’d ask the Mad Hatter.

ALICE: The Mad Hatter? Uh... no, no, I do- I do...

CHESHIRE CAT: Or, there’s the March Hare. In that direction.

ALICE: Oh, thank you. I- I think I shall visit him.

CHESHIRE CAT: Of course, he’s mad too.

ALICE: But I don’t want to go among mad people!

CHESHIRE CAT: Oh, you can’t help that. Almost everyone is mad here. Ha... ha ha ha ha ha! You may have noticed that I’m not all there myself.... hahaha... (and he leaves the stage laughing and leaving Alice alone)

ALICE: Goodness. If the people here are like that, I- I must try not to upset them. How very curious!

.

END OF ACT 8

ALICE IN WONDERLAND - PLAYSCRIPT - ACT 7 - 2007-8

ALICE IN WONDERLAND

PLAYSCRIPT 2007-2008

ACT 7

Alice appears on the stage. In the middle there is a big mushroom and on the mushroom there is a caterpillar smoking.

.

CATERPILLAR: Aaaa, a e i o u aaaaa, a e i o u aaaaa, a e i o u aaaaa,... Who are you?

ALICE: I- I- I hardly know, sir! I changed so many times since this morning, you see...

CATERPILLAR: I do not see. Explain yourself.

ALICE: Why, I’m afraid I can’t explain myself, sir, because I’m not myself, you know...

CATERPILLAR: I do not know.

ALICE: Well, I can’t put it anymore clearly because it isn’t clear to me!

CATERPILLAR: You? Who are you?

ALICE: Well, don’t you think you ought to tell me- cough-cough, cough-cough, who you are first?

CATERPILLAR: Why?

ALICE: Oh dear. Everything is so confusing.

CATERPILLAR: It is not.

ALICE: Well, it is to me.

CATERPILLAR: Why?

ALICE: Well, I can’t remember things as I used to, and...

CATERPILLAR: Recite.

ALICE: Hmm? Oh! Oh, oh, yes, sir! Um... how doth the little busy bee, improve each such...

CATERPILLAR: Stop! That is not spoken correctically. It goes: how... (Alice starts laughing and she interrupts him)

CATERPILLAR: Hmm! How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail. And pour the waters of the Nile, on every golden scale. How cheer... how cheer... Ahem! (Alice continues laughing)

ALICE: Well I must say I’ve never heard it that way before...

CATERPILLAR: I know, I have improved it.

ALICE: Well, cough-cough, if you ask me...

CATERPILLAR: You? Huh, who are you?

ALICE: Cough-cough, cough-cough, A-choo! Oh! (She starts leaving very angrily)

CATERPILLAR: You there! Girl! Wait! Come back! I have something important to say!

ALICE: Oh dear. I wonder what he wants now. Well...?

CATERPILLAR: Keep your temper!

ALICE: Is that all?

CATERPILLAR: No. Exactically, what is your problem?

ALICE: Well, it’s exactica-, exacti-, well, it’s precisely this: I should like to be a little bigger, sir.

CATERPILLAR: Why?

ALICE: Well, after all, three inches is such a horrible height, and...

CATERPILLAR: I am exactically three inches high, and it is a very good height indeed!

ALICE: But I’m not used to it. And you needn’t shout! Oh dear!

CATERPILLAR: By the way, I have a few more helpful hints. One side will make you grow taller...

ALICE: One side of what?

CATERPILLAR: ...and the other side will make you grow shorter.

ALICE: The other side of what?

CATERPILLAR: The mushroom, of course!!

And the caterpillar becomes a butterfly and flies away.

ALICE: Hmm. One side will make me grow... but which is which? Hmm. After all that’s happened, I- I wonder if I... I don’t care. I’m tired of being only three inches high .

She takes a piece of mushroom from each side and leaves the stage.

.

END OF ACT 7

ALICE IN WONDERLAND - PLAYSCRIPT - ACT 6 - 2007-8

ALICE IN WONDERLAND

PLAYSCRIPT 2007-2008

ACT 6

Alice appears in a garden full of living flowers.

ALICE: I’ll never catch him while I’m this small. Why curious butterflies!

ROSE: You mean bread-and-butterflies.

Alice looks around but she sees nobody.

ALICE: Oh, yes, of course, I... hmm? Now who do you suppose... Ah, a horse fly! I mean, a- a rocking horse fly!

ROSE: Naturally!

She looks again around and sees nobody.

ALICE: I beg your pardon, but uhh... did you... oh, that’s nonsense. Flowers can’t talk.

ROSE: But of course we can talk, my dear.

SNAP-DRAGON: If there’s anyone worth talking to.

MARGUERITE: Or about! Hahahaha!

VIOLET: And we sing too! ---

ALICE: You do?

TULIP: Oh, yes. Would you like to hear ‘Tell it to the tulips’?

VIOLET: No, let’s sing about me! I know one about the shy little violets...

TULIP: Oh, no, not that old thing!Let’s do ‘Lovely lily at the valley’!

MARGUERITE: How about the daisies in the...

SNAP-DRAGON: Oh, she wouldn’t like that!

ROSE: Girls, girls! We shall sing: ‘Golden afternoon’. That’s about all of us! Sound your A, tulips!

TULIP: Laaaa...laaaa laaaa

VIOLET: Mimimimmimimiiiiiii...

MARGUERITE: Lalalala...

SNAP-DRAGON: Hahahahahahaha...

ROSE: Poem, poepoem, poem, poempoempoempoem....

FLOWERS SINGING: Little bread-and-butterflies kiss the tulips, and the sun is like a toy balloon. There are get up in the morning glories, in the golden afternoon. There are dizzy daffodils on the hillside, strings of violets are all in tune, Tiger lilies love the dandy lions, in the golden afternoon, the golden afternoon.

.

ALICE: Oh, that was lovely.

ROSE: Thank you, my dear.

MARGUERITE: What kind of garden do you come from?

ALICE: Well I don’t come from any garden...

MARGUERITE: Oh, do you suppose she’s a wild flower?

ALICE: Oh no, I’m not a wild flower...

ROSE: Just what specie, or shall we say, genus, are you, my dear?

ALICE: Well, I suppose you call me a genus, humanus, eh... Alice!

MARGUERITE: Ever seen an Alice with a blossom like that?

SNAP-DRAGON: Come to think of it, did you ever see an Alice?

VIOLET: Yes, and did you notice her petals? What a peculiar color!

MARGUERITE: And no fragrance!

TULIP: Hahaha! Just look at those stems!

SNAPDRAGON: Rather bony, I would say.

ALICE: But I’m not a flower!

SNAP-DRAGON: Aha! Just as I suspected! She’s nothing but a common mobile vulgaris!

FLOWERS: Oh no!

ALICE: A common what?

SNAP-DRAGON: To put it bluntly: a weed!

ALICE: I’m not a weed!

TULIP: Well, you wouldn’t expect her to admit it.

ROSE: Can you imagine!

MARGUERITE: Well, goodness!

VIOLET: Don’t let her stay here and go to seed!

TULIP: Go away now!

ROSE: Please, girls...

VIOLET & TULIP: We don’t want weeds in our bed!

.

ALICE: Oh, all right, if that’s the way you feel about it. If I were my right size, I could pick every one of you if I wanted to! That would teach you! (And she leaves the stage very offended.)

.

END OF ACT 6

ALICE IN WONDERLAND - PLAYSCRIPT - ACT 5 - 2007-8

ALICE IN WONDERLAND

PLAYSCRIPT 2007-2008

ACT 5

Alice appears on the stage. There is a little house in the middle and the white rabbit is standing next to it, nervously looking at his watch.

ALICE: Now I wonder who lives here...

WHITE RABBIT: Mary Ann! ?? that girl. Where did she put 'em? Mary Ann!

ALICE: The rabbit! Excuse me sir, but- but I’ve been trying to...

WHITE RABBIT: Why, Mary Ann! What are you doing out here?

ALICE: Mary Ann?

WHITE RABBIT: Don’t just stand there! Go go! Go get my gloves! I’m late!

ALICE: But late for what?

WHITE RABBIT: My gloves! At once, do you hear!

ALICE: Goodness. I suppose I’ll be taking orders from Dinah next. (she starts walking towards the house) Hmmm, now let me see. If I were a rabbit, where would I keep my gloves? (She sees a little box and opens I, she reads it) Eat me? Oh! Thank you. I´m hungry. - Hmhm. Hmhm. Hmhmhmhmhmhm. Hmhmhmhmhmhm (she starts growing again) Oh no no, not again!

WHITE RABBIT: Oh! Mary Ann!... Help! No! No! Help!A monster! Help!

Suddenly Dodo appears.

WHITE RABBIT: A monster! A monster, Dodo! In my house, Dodo!

ALICE: Dodo...?

DODO: Steady old champ. Can't be as bad as all that you know.

WHITE RABBIT: Oh my poor roof and all my walls and... there it is!

DODO: By Jove! Jolly well??

WHITE RABBIT: Well, do something, Dodo!

DODO: Yes, indeed! Extraordinary situation, but eh...

WHITE RABBIT: But- but what?

DODO: But I have a very simple solution!

ALICE: Thank goodness!

WHITE RABBIT: Wha- wha- what is it?

DODO: Simply pull it out the chimney.

WHITE RABBIT: Yes, go- go ahead, go ahead! Pull it out!

DODO: Who? Me? Don’t be ridiculous! What we need is eh... a lizard with a ladder!

Suddenly Bill, the lizard, appears with a ladder.

WHITE RABBIT: Hmm? Oh! Bill! Bill! Eh, we need a lazzerd with a lizard, a lizard a bb...b... can you help us?

BILL: At your service, governor!

DODO: Here, my lad!. Have you ever been down a chimney?

BILL: Why governor, I’ve been down more chimneys...

DODO: Excellent, excellent. You just pop down the chimney, and take that monster out of there.

BILL: Righto, governor! Monster? Hoeaaaaah! No! No! ....

DODO: Bill, lad, you’re passing up a golden opportunity!

BILL: I am?

DODO: You can be famous!

BILL: I can?

DODO: Of course! There’s a brave lad! In you go now, old boy. Simply tie your tail around the monsters neck and drag it out!

BILL: But- but- but governor!

DODO: Good luck, Bill!

ALICE: Oh dear, this is serious! I simply must... oh! A garden! Perhaps if I will eat something it will make me grow smaller...

WHITE RABBIT: Ahhhh! Oh, let go! Help!

ALICE: I’m sorry, but I must eat something!

WHITE RABBIT: Not me, you- you- you- you- you barbarian! Help! Monsters! Help! Ah! I’m late! Oh dear, I’m here, I should be there! I’m late, I’m late, I’m late! (He leaves the stage looking at his watch).

ALICE: Wait! Please wait! (She takes a carrot from the garden and starts eating it, she gets smaller.)

ALICE: Wait! Please! Just a minute! Oh, dear. (She goes after the rabbit leaving Dodo and Bill on the stage.)

DODO: Bill, this is incredible, no cooperation! Everybody leaves. I have an idea, Bill.

BILL: You have?

DODO: Yes,… Let´s burn the house! Do you have a match Bill?

END OF ACT 5