ALICE IN WONDERLAND - PLAYSCRIPT - MAY 2010 - ACT 4

ALICE IN WONDERLAND

PLAYSCRIPT - MAY 2010

ACT 4

We see the rabbit just leaving the forest turning a corner. In the middle there are two strange figures looking at the audience. We can hear Alice saying….

ALICE: Oh, don’t go away!

WHITE RABBIT: I’m late, I’m late, I’m late!

Alice appears on the stage, the two strange men are now looking at her but they are standing still..

ALICE: Mister Rabbit! Oh, mister Rabbit! Oh dear, I’m sure he came this way. Do you suppose he could be hiding? Hmmm... not here. I wonder... No, I suppose he must have... Oh! Why, what peculiar figures! (She reads the names of the two men on their shirts) Tweedle Dee... and Tweedle Dum!

TWEEDLE DEE: If you think we’re wax-works, you should pay, you know!

TWEEDLE DUM: Contrariwise, if you think we’re alive you ought to speak to us!

DEE & DUM: That’s logic!

ALICE: Well, it’s been nice meeting you. Goodbye! (looking around searching for the rabbit).

DEE: You’re beginning backwards!

DUM: Aye, the first thing in a visit is to say: How do you do and shake hands. How do you do and shake hands and state your name and business.

DEE & DUM: That’s manners!

ALICE: Really? Well, my name is Alice and I’m following a white rabbit. So...

DEE: You can’t go yet!

DUM: No, the visit has just started!

ALICE: I’m very sorry...

DUM: Do you like to play hide-and-seek?

DEE: Or button-button, who’s got the button?

ALICE: No, thank you.

DEE: If you stay long enough we might have a battle!

ALICE: That's very kind of you, but I must be going.

DEE & DUM: Why?

ALICE: Because I am following a white rabbit!

DEE & DUM: Why?

ALICE: Well, I- I’m curious to know where he is going!

DUM: Ohhhh, she’s curious! Tsk! tsk! tsk! ts!...

DEE: The oysters were curious too, weren’t they?

DUM: Aye, and you remember what happened to them...

DEE & DUM: Poor things!

ALICE: Why? What did happen to the oysters?

DEE: Oh, you wouldn’t be interested.

ALICE: But I am!

DUM: Oh, no. You’re in much too much of a hurry!

ALICE: Well, perhaps I could have a little time...

DEE & DUM: you could? well...

DEE: ‘The Walrus and the Carpenter’!

DUM: Or: ‘The story of the curious Oysters’!

DEE: The sun was shining on the sea, shining with all his might,. And this was odd, because it was the middle of the night.

DUM: The Walrus and the Carpenter were walking close at hand. The beach was white from side to side but much too full of sand.

The Walrus and the Carpenter appear, one next to the other…

CARPENTER: Mister Walrus, my brain begins to burke. We’ll sweep this clear in half a year, if you don't mind the work.'

WALRUS: Work? Uh, pff, brrrr! Uh, the time has come to talk of other things. Calloo, callay, no work today! We’re cabbages and kings! ... Oh, uhhh, oysters, come and walk with us. The day is warm and bright! A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk, would be a sheer delight!

CARPENTER: Yes, and if we get hungry on the way, we’ll stop and uh... have a bite!

WALRUS: Hrmmmm!

DEE & DUM: But mother Oyster winked her eye and shook her heavy head. She knew too well this was no time to leave her oyster bed.

WALRUS: Yes, yes, of course, of course! But eh... haha! The time has come, my little friends, to talk of other things. Calloo, callay, come run away! We’re the cabbages and kings! ... Hrmmm, well now, uh... let me see... Ah! A loaf of bread is what we chiefly need.

CARPENTER: How about some pepper and salt and vinegar, aye?

WALRUS: Oh yes, yes, splendid idea! Haha, very good indeed! Now, if you’re ready, oysters dear... haha... we can begin to feed.

DEE & DUM: Feed?

WALRUS: Oh yes, ahh, the time has come, my little friends, to talk of food and things!

CARPENTER: We’ll mix some all together in a sauce as good for kings. Callooh, callay, we’ll live today, like cabbages and kings!

WALRUS: I uh, weep for you, I -uh- oh, excuse me, I deeply sympathize. For I've enjoyed your company, oh, much more than you realize.

The Walrus and the Carpenter leave the stage, touching their stomachs and licking their lips with their tongues.

DEE & DUM: Mother Oyster called her girls but answer there came none. And this was scarcely odd, because, they had been eaten, every one! The end!

ALICE: That was a very sad story.

DUM: Aye, and there’s a moral to it.

ALICE: Oh yes, a very good moral, if you happen to be an oyster. Well, it’s been a very nice visit...

DEE & DUM: Another recitation...

ALICE: I’m sorry, but...

DEE & DUM: It’s titled ‘Father William’.

ALICE: But really, I’m... (and she starts leaving the stage, leaving the two strange figures alone).

DEE & DUM: First verse: You are old father William, the young man said and your hair has become very white…

END OF ACT 4