ALICE IN WONDERLAND - PLAYSCRIPT - MAY 2010 - ACT 6

ALICE IN WONDERLAND

PLAYSCRIPT - MAY 2010

ACT 6

Alice appears in a garden full of living flowers.

ALICE: I’ll never catch him while I’m this small. Why curious butterflies!

ROSE: You mean bread-and-butterflies.

Alice looks around but she sees nobody.

ALICE: Oh, yes, of course, I... hmm? Now who do you suppose... Ah, a horse fly! I mean, a- a rocking horse fly!

ROSE: Naturally!

She looks again around and sees nobody.

ALICE: I beg your pardon, but uhh... did you... oh, that’s nonsense. Flowers can’t talk.

ROSE: But of course we can talk, my dear.

SNAP-DRAGON: If there’s anyone worth talking to.

MARGUERITE: Or about! Hahahaha!

VIOLET: And we sing too!

ALICE: You do?

TULIP: Oh, yes. Would you like to hear ‘Tell it to the tulips’?

VIOLET: No, let’s sing about me! I know one about the shy little violets...

TULIP: Oh, no, not that old thing! Let’s do ‘Lovely lily at the valley’!

MARGUERITE: How about the daisies in the...

SNAP-DRAGON: Oh, she wouldn’t like that!

ROSE: Girls, girls! We shall sing: ‘Golden afternoon’. That’s about all of us! Sound your A, tulips!

TULIP: Laaaa...laaaa laaaa

VIOLET: Mimimimmimimiiiiiii...

MARGUERITE: Lalalala...

SNAP-DRAGON: Hahahahahahaha...

ROSE: Poem, poepoem, poem, poempoempoempoem....

FLOWERS: Little bread-and-butterflies kiss the tulips, and the sun is like a toy balloon. There are get up in the morning glories, in the golden afternoon. There are dizzy daffodils on the hillside, strings of violets are all in tune, Tiger lilies love the dandy lions, in the golden afternoon, the golden afternoon. There are dog and caterpillars and a copper centipede, where the lazy daisies love the very peaceful life they lead... You can learn a lot of things from the flowers, for especially in the month of June. There’s a wealth of happiness and romance, all in the golden afternoon. ... All in the golden afternoon, the golden afternoon...

ALICE: Oh, that was lovely.

ROSE: Thank you, my dear.

MARGUERITE: What kind of garden do you come from?

ALICE: Well I don’t come from any garden...

MARGUERITE: Oh, do you suppose she’s a wild flower?

ALICE: Oh no, I’m not a wild flower...

ROSE: Just what specie, or shall we say, genus, are you, my dear?

ALICE: Well, I suppose you call me a genus, humanus, eh... Alice!

MARGUERITE: Ever seen an Alice with a blossom like that?

SNAP-DRAGON: Come to think of it, did you ever see an Alice?

VIOLET: Yes, and did you notice her petals? What a peculiar color!

MARGUERITE: And no fragrance!

TULIP: Hahaha! Just look at those stems!

SNAPDRAGON: Rather bony, I would say.

ALICE: But I’m not a flower!

SNAP-DRAGON: Aha! Just as I suspected! She’s nothing but a common mobile vulgaris!

FLOWERS: Oh no!

ALICE: A common what?

SNAP-DRAGON: To put it bluntly: a weed!

ALICE: I’m not a weed!

TULIP: Well, you wouldn’t expect her to admit it.

ROSE: Can you imagine!

MARGUERITE: Well, goodness!

VIOLET: Don’t let her stay here and go to seed!

TULIP: Go away now!

ROSE: Please, girls...

VIOLET AND TULIP: We don’t want weeds in our bed!

ALICE: Oh, all right, if that’s the way you feel about it. If I were my right size, I could pick every one of you if I wanted to! That would teach you! (And she leaves the stage very offended.)

END OF ACT 6